Sleep Strike

Elliot has been a pretty "easy" and happy baby. He usually goes to bed without too much fuss and is happy as long as he has been fed & pottied. So the last 9 days have been somewhat of a shock to me. About a week ago Elliot decided he would not sleep. He woke up from his morning nap at 10am and refused to sleep until 10 that evening. In the afternoon, I noticed he had a slight fever & cold and thought, "Oh, he's getting sick. That is why he is so uncomfortable." But I thought babies sleep more when they are not feeling well. I tried everything to get him to sleep - walked him around in the stroller, got him out and about, carried him around in the Ergo, everything I could think of, I tried. Every time he would be almost asleep, he would wake himself up. It was a stressful day, but little did I know that is how the rest of the week would look.

Luckily, Brad & I were both able to take care of him over the weekend. With his cold and never ending desire to stay awake, neither of us got much sleep. Brad ended up finding the only way to settle him down was to lay down with him and physically just hold him on his back. Then it would take around an hour to get him to sleep. Elliot is learning to both crawl & stand and seems like he cannot shut his mind off. As soon as he is laid down, even when almost asleep, he is rolling over to practice, practice, practice.

A couple of days ago I totally lost it! I was a crying mess. I was so tired & worn out and felt like a total failure. My house was a mess, I hadn't been able to cook in a few days, I hadn't left the house in a couple days & I had a baby that wouldn't sleep. This last week has taught me a lot. No matter how much I have planned, I need to learn to be more flexible and forgiving of those around me and myself. My number one priority and the reason I am staying home is to be with Elliot. I think I have put a lot of my self worth in having a clean house, a happy baby - on being a good wife & mother. Sometimes I think this has not made me a whole lot of fun to be around. I'm trying to relax and know that my value is not in the things I do or what I can check off my list, but it is hard at times.

So our new approach with Elliot is to just stop what we are doing when it is time for naps or night and lay down with him for a little bit. This seems to be working and he is settling down faster each time. This is also allowing me some much needed rest. I thought the whole sleep when the baby sleep thing ended when they were no longer newborns, but am finding I was getting a lot less sleep now than when Elliot was born. I'm amazed at how quickly he changes. I think I have something figured out and he is on to the next thing. I'm sure this is the way it is with children - constantly changing and growing, I just wish I could keep up sometimes.